Tuesday, October 11, 2011

onto the next step...

tuesday i opened my mailbox and fingered through the usual junk mail. then i came across an envelope with a return address as one Stanley Wanglund at the ddso. i was so nervous. i prayed, "God, please, i do not care what type of diagnosis she is given, i would just like it to be positive." at this point in the game i feel i would have a really hard time accepting more negativity...

i searched frantically throughout the paperwork, trying not to read it too fast in case i missed something...then, on the bottom of the last page it read:

"Diagnostic Impression: Autism"

oh man, what a basket of emotions i was at that point...they didn't diagnose her with Asperger's like we had thought they would, or like we had discussed with John at her appointment. actual, 100% bonafide autism. wow. all at once i was laughing, i was crying, i was shaking. i was trying to text misty and erin to let them know and i could barely type the words out for my excitement.

when i tell my husband, i also tell him that i want to give it to his mother so that she can read that there is concrete proof that i am not crazy after all. well, i am crazy, but at the whole of it, there is proof that i am not lying nor am i causing her to be this way.

long and the short of it is that kylee has been proven eligible for services from the great state of new york due to her developmental disability. i am shocked, really. even though this is what i was hoping for, there is still a grieving process that has to be gone through. with much luck and determination, i am hoping that kylee gets the services she needs to be an accomplished adult...

okay...

so i am highly irritated i guess you could say. i get it. you need it. i need it. no, get your mind out of the gutter, i mean sleep. i didn't get to sleep until around 12. note the time of the post? and no offense meant but, if you're going to come home early from work because you're tired, go to sleep, when you get home. not 2 hours later. don't stir me because guess what? now i will have less sleep than you in the grand scheme of things, then i will be too tired to deal with you later. oh wait, now i have to get up and go to the bathroom because now my body and mind are awake. okay, that's done, let's try this. okay, i can still get another hour before i need to get up with kylee and start my day. nope, no luck thanks to the dog who is constantly shaking the bed and taking up the room on my side.....*sigh* guess i'll just get up now. what's one less hour? so, you staying awake now that i am wide awake? oh what's that? oh, YOU'RE sleeping now. nice...."