Sunday, July 24, 2011

Derek Hoare and Ayn Van Dyke

I have been following the ongoing battle of Derek Hoare in having his daughter, Ayn Van Dyke, returned to him. In June of 2011, Ayn was removed from her father's care. Ayn has autism. One of the characteristics of autistic children is wandering. One day, while the family was playing in the backyard, 9 year old Ayn managed to get over the 6 foot fence that encases the family yard. Derek searched frantically for his little girl, then resorted to calling 911 after a short while and turning up no little girl. Thankfully a short time later she was found to be at a neighbor's home. Ayn was returned home to Derek, no injuries, no worse for wear, and all went back to normal.

Normal for Derek's family is hardly a normal that any of us would embrace lightly. He has two other children, boys; his oldest son, Wyatt, doesn't have autism yet his other son, Lyric, does. Derek is the sole caregiver of these three beautiful children.

A little insight into Derek's life with these children include installing deadbolts on the inside of his door so that the children do not leave the home, and installing a more complex locking system on the windows that the children cannot get out through them, either.

Normal life was disturbed for them when four days later, two social workers from the MCFD (Ministry of Child and Family Development) came to his door with intentions on removing Ayn from Derek's care. The original story can be read here: (just copy and paste.)

The reasoning the MCFD gave for her removal was so that Derek may be less burdened and overwhelmed. They came with a voluntary order for him to relinquish her to them. He refused. They ended up taking her from her school, before they even went to his home. So, in this case, they abducted this little girl.

The altercation proved to be quite heated.

If you go to YouTube's Justice4Ayn channel you can watch several videos which portray this story. After this little girl was taken, she had been drugged so as not to be so violent; put on anti-psychotic medicine in doses so high that even an asult would not tolerate. This little girl is away from her family and out of her routine and that which makes her feel safe. It was reported that 18 days after being taken and crying hysterically, the hospital that had care over Ayn requested a photo of Derek for her to carry with her, which she now does happily.

Since Ayn's placement into custody, Derek has been relentless in trying to bring his daughter home. The current Facebook group: "Help Bring little Autistic girl back to her daddy" is currently at 3,417 members and still going strong since its beginning in early June. The hordes of people in this group and their support and services has been overwhelming. As part of this group, I cannot recall another cause that had received this much focus; this much intent on righting a wrong.

Similarly, as a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, i can relate with Derek's story and share in his concerns for his daughter. It is time to return little Ayn home to her father and her brothers, where she belongs. Join us today on Facebook and head over to the petition site, where 3,023 others have joined this plight, here:

If you or anyone you know, lives near British Columbia, Canada, can help in any way, please do not hesitate. Contact the Facebook group today. Or, if you are in a position to help in any monetary way, that would also be appreciated. Currently in the works is a bottle and can drive to help support their cause. Lawyers fees are not cheap and Derek can use all the help he can receive in bringing home his precious little girl! That link is here:

There are several people doing numerous important things that are helping Derek's case. I understand I am in the U.S. and they are located in Canada, but the stories remain the same. In this advanced age, I am delighted to know that so many people can come together to support a loving father who desperately misses his little girl who was wrongfully taken from him.

Please, join me in support of this cause. Sign the petition, give a few dollars, anything you can do. After all, What Happened to Ayn Could Happen To Any Autistic Child.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

believing God

i am currently in a women's group at church, entitled, "believing God". this group has been a Godsend for me, literally. let me lay down some background...

this past fall, i had to say goodbye to my best friend of almost 13 years; my dog jake. what a sad, terribly depressing time for me. i was then enrolled in a different women's group, "the power of a praying wife". great class, great teacher; i met a lot of great women in that group. well, this all occurred while attending this class. i ended up missing several weeks, not only because of losing jake, but also because of the weather and partly due to kylee and her behavior. we put jake down on october 26th...hardest decision of my life, and even now i am typing amidst tears...*i miss you my friend*

during this time at church we were also reading through "the story" which basically is the Bible, condensed and put into story form. we were going through it as a whole, all the congregation. because i missed several sundays, i fell behind in this and my group studies. well, let me tell you. satan sure had a stronghold on me then. i fell into a massive depression where i didn't leave my couch for two weeks. losing jake had been devastating and soul crushing. with him gone, there was a huge, empty space in my home. and in my heart. there still is. upon going to bed at night i would bury my face into a stuffed bear i had, because right before i left the vet's office, i grabbed jake's face, buried my face in his, and said, "promise me, when i get to heaven, that you won't bite me for leaving you and say hello to Jesus for me." i left. i couldn't even watch or hold my dog as he left this life. what kind of pet owner was i? even now i still feel the guilt.

slowly, i was getting better. i remember the first night, i had made it 24 hours after losing him. i called a friend because i really needed to talk to someone as my husband was at work...she couldn't talk due to family time. i understood, but i needed her and she abandoned me. that's how i felt. well, that took it's toll on me as well. i withdrew from the church even more. what's worse is she felt bad too, later telling me that she could tell i was slipping away, and as my friend she should have done something. i got angry inside because she didn't but then i realized, it wasn't her fault. none of it was. i had to get stronger on my own because if i never did it myself, i would never make it out alive.

satan really hurt me...we had five major staff members that ended up leaving our church, the most recent being our senior pastor, pastor john. that was my straw that broke the camel's back. here i was, already feeling unloved, unwanted, invisible...and he just kept taking his shots at me, and i kept letting him.

one night i remember praying, "God, please put someone in my path that can help me get back on track. i need to be where i belong." after trying a different church and still missing more services at my own, i finally got to the point where i was alone. down and out. i made a trip to arrowhead, looking for something; anything. i thought maybe i'd find a joyce meyer book-nah, i have enough of them. same went for chip ingram, i needed something new that was going to help put me where i belonged: back at my church with my family. then, as i was getting ready to check out, it hit me. "i wonder..."

so i left the checkout and wandered back to the women's section again. aha! i found it! the same woman we just got finished studying in women's group had a different book that caught my eye. "the power of a praying woman." i immediately snatched up the last copy they had and raced to the front, completing my purchase. i was so excited to jump into it; i couldn't wait. i opened it in the car and started reading. it was shortly after that, when i made it home that i had purchased the study guide, not the book...oops! so i ran to barnes and noble and got it there, and started right into the study immediately upon returning home.

what an eye opener! that book gave me just exactly what i needed at that exact time! well, fast forward a few weeks, things are a lot better...i joined a new study at church, the one i mentioned in the beginning. i was at the tail end of the "praying woman" book, with just a few chapters left. as i was working on the chapter about delivering me from my past, "stronger" by mandisa came on. "the pain ain't gonna last forever, hold on and things will get better, believe me, this is gonna make you stronger."

Praise God, i bawled right then and there! never had a message been so profound to me! the next chapter, "using your gifts" was incredible! the chapter discussed taking your gifts God has blessed you with and spreading your light. at that moment, "take your candle, go light your world" came on. MORE tears! Glory!

i was texting erin through this whole saga, unbelieving my ears...i think i had her crying too!

finally, i come to the last chapter of the study..."you are a new creation in Christ". just then, on the radio, came "you've been remade". holy moly i got goosebumps at that moment! i just KNEW that Christ was speaking to me, slapping me upside the head saying, "duh girl! how many times do i need to show you?" i about fell out of my chair i was trembling so much! Praise God!

since then, we have been doing our new group study and it has been phenomenal to say the absolute least. God has shown Himself to me in so many ways this past year. i just need to take up my cross and follow Him....

it is time...


i guess i shouldn't complain. i have made some new connections in the autism community. problem is i am feeling that, whenever i post on a thread, no one responds after it. but, that's okay. at least kylee's story is getting out there. it's been mega eye opening to say the least. i have learned so many new things just by being in these communities. i am trying my best to get ayn's story out there, but unfortunately, i don't think that anyone around here cares. i've posted (hundreds, i'm sure) of posts relating to it. i am just so sad for derek that he and his family have to go through this.

i joined the asperger's community page. that was a very good move. it has taught me a lot! i am thinking that maybe she does have asperger's. but, it's hard to tell, and i won't know until they tell me so. if i can get hold of someone at the district office to even get me her records, seeing as it's the middle of summer. i know they have to provide records if i ask, even at a cost which is no problem at all. although the only other snag i see is they have up to 45 days to comply with your request...

my problem right now is letting go and letting God...

i know it's all in the Father's hands, but if i seriously have to wait another almost two years, i think i will die. today was a horrible day. i yelled. i haven't yelled like this in a long time and of course i feel terrible about it. this all coming after reading "overcoming emotions that destroy".....ugh.

so, until tomorrow, i will pray some more and wait to hear God's Word on my recent situation, hoping i will accept what He has to say with an open heart...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

hello square one...seems you and i are bcoming quite familiar with one another....

oh boy....i seem to be two-stepping my self back into that same old game of four square except i seem to be the only player. all the others have left, gone home, or deduced the fact that i am crazy and choose not to show up....

STILL no phone call from charlie despite the many i've made to him. conveniently though, the last day i called him which was the friday before the 4th of july, i receive a letter from broome regional stating that they do not feel there is enough evidence to suggest that kylee has any sort of developmental delay and that her eval is going through the "step 2" process. whatever. i guess that means i move on.

today i called hca in johnson city, hoping that they would be able to help me. the woman on the phone informs me that they cannot help my child because of her age..."we don't help children in that age group." really?! ok, square one. again. i am getting so frustrated. i am ready to scream. so she refers me to SUNY. i call SUNY and unfortunately get a woman that has no clue either. wow. the blind leading the blind. that's i call SUNY. oh wait, i already said that, lol. she tells me she can't help me, takes my name and number and says, "it'll be a few days because we get a lot of calls..." ok. i'll wait a couple of days. if i don't hear by tuesday then i will call again. this time i will ask directly for linda's voicemail if she has one, and if not, then i will leave a message directly for her. this is ridiculous.......